How do I choose a therapist?

A common question is “how do I find the right therapist for me”?

The term “therapist” is a universal term which covers a variety of disciplines including mental health counseling (also known as professional counseling), clinical social work, marriage and family therapy, counseling psychology, and clinical psychology. All disciplines require at least a master’s degree and more than one thousand hours of supervised clinical practice prior to licensure. All licensed mental health professionals are trained in basic competency for all mental health issues. Many therapists will also identify specialties (e.g., trauma, depression, anxiety, etc.). Selecting a therapist who specializes in your issue could help maximize the possible benefits of therapy. A specialist is particularly important for issues which may be either less common or requiring increased sensitivity such as sexual trauma, gender identity, videogame addiction, etc.

How do I select a therapist? If you have health insurance, call your provider to see who the approved in-network providers are in your area. Therapy is an investment into your well-being though can become pricey. Exploring options with the support of your insurance would be a good place to start.

Most insurance cards will have a number for “mental health”, or the like listed on the back of your member card. When you call, they will ask for a brief description of what you may need help with and then offer a list of providers in your area.

Once you obtain a list, you can do some research on each provider. Most therapists advertise on Psychology Today (www.psychologytoday.com) and provide information on their theoretical orientation, rates, services provided, and areas of specialty. Therapist may also have their own sites which contain similar information.

Some things to consider when selecting candidates to be your therapist might be gender, age, and culture/ ethnicity, and religious/ spiritual orientation of the counselor.

Ultimately, the best way to evaluate a therapist as a potential fit for you is to schedule an appointment and spend a session with them to see if you feel comfortable. Don’t be afraid to ask questions about their approach to therapy or how they may be able to help you specifically with whatever it is you would like to work on. A good working relationship with a therapist is a very valuable tool, so selecting someone who is a good fit for you will pay off in dividends.

I hope you have found this helpful! 😊

Keywords: counseling , counselor, therapy ,therapist, psychotherapy , psychotherapist , selecting a therapist , finding a therapist , mental health treatment.

COVID Thoughts 1

Hello Friend,

SO much has been happening these days and it’s hard to comprehend the scope of what we are living through.

Virtually all aspects of our lives have been impacted by COVID-19: At its worst is the growing number of deaths due to the disease. For those who keep their lives, we are now faced with reconciling the entire infrastructure of our economy and society. What will our lives outside our homes look like once the dust settles? I wonder if the café where I love to sit and write will remained closed forever. This is a very high-class problem but it’s the creature comforts that we miss…

I long for some sense of normalcy to return. I am fortunate to have suffered a severe injury last year which has left me with limited usage of my left hand. Adjusting to life with a disability involves accepting a new “normal.” I continue to grieve the loss of the use of my hand but know that staying in those thoughts for too long brings suffering. Accepting the new normal, including uncertainty of what is next, is our next task.

We humans have been very fortunate for a long time. We are now faced with something which is causing widespread damage and we don’t like it. Fair enough. In many ways, we have been spoiled as we haven’t experienced the suffering, at a very base level, that so many other species in the world have.

I feel this whole experience will be very grounding for humanity. It is giving us an opportunity to reflect upon what is truly important in life (as we have now become increasingly aware of our own mortality).

I am so excited to see (either on social media or riding bikes around my neighborhood) so many families bonding with each other. The degradation of the family unit contributes to much distress and I hope that this time with each other will invigorate bonds with one another.

I encourage- no implore you to take this time as a big “reset” to evaluate your true needs and wants and consider how to implement them in your lives.

I would love to get some audience participation on this post so please offer a reply below.

Be well. 😊

Born Under a Bad Sign

“Born under a bad sign… I’ve been down since I began to crawl” -Albert King

I have worked with a handful of clients who have concluded that bad things happen to them because of destiny, being unlucky, God hating them, being cursed, paying for transgressions from a previous life, or just simply being bad. They were easily able to provide evidence to support their position including having suffered abuse as children, experiencing premature death of loved ones, and seeming to always be the one getting into trouble (both as a child and an adult). These people were entrenched in their position and seemed to embrace and integrate it into their sense of identity. Their primary relationships were with people who had similar perceptions of themselves.

My interpretation of what they are saying is that, due to some omnipotent force beyond their control, that their life is oriented toward pain, loss, defeat, sadness, failure and ultimately suffering (or at the very least, a lack of peace, happiness, and contentment). They feel rejected by life.

This is a profound belief for a person to have of themselves.

Often, these people have not been treated with the dignity and respect that they, along with all people, deserve and thus I explicitly incorporate it into my treatment plan for them. The effective use of empathy and a consistent application of unconditional positive regard is critical. I see myself as serving as a liaison between them and humanity through offering a corrective experience with someone who cares for them. I listen to their stories and apologize for past hurts they have endured. I identify and celebrate their strengths. I offer them comfort and support. We find commonalities in our lives. We laugh. A lot.

In stark contrast to these individuals’ appraisals of themselves, I find them to be incredibly inspirational. They have endured a great deal of heartache and pain and have somehow survived. Their strength and tenacity are enviable. I am honored to be a part of their recovery/ journey.

My Counseling Philosophy

I believe that the meaning of life for all living things is to grow, thrive and when it is time, to die. All living things naturally engage in this process. For people, this process can become slowed or derailed by issues such as non-integrated trauma, messages received about self (especially during formative years), and an array of possible physiological issues (caused by genetic or environmental influences). This belief is aligned with the humanistic traditions of psychotherapy which suggest that given the appropriate environment, people will have a tendency toward self-actualization. Carl Rogers stated: “The organism has one basic tendency and striving – to actualize, maintain, and enhance the experiencing organism” (Rogers, 1951, p. 487). My beliefs inform my approach to my work with clients.

My general approach to working with clients is to build a therapeutic alliance with them while collaboratively determining what I may be able to help them with. To achieve this, I work to understand the client’s worldview and attempt to develop a sense for what it feels like to be them (or at least understand their experience within the current context of their lives). Through listening and asking questions I work to find factors which are contributing to the individual’s challenges. These factors generally include beliefs about themselves, others, or situations; dysfunctional behaviors they are engaged in (e.g., chronic drug use) or sometimes a general lack of direction (e.g., purpose in life). Very often, the predominant issue in their life is that they have no one with whom they can have honest conversations.

I believe that much can be gained through honest discourse. Through honest conversations with others, people can learn to develop meaningful relationships. I frequently act as a surrogate for others to practice talking about their inner thoughts, feelings, and desires which they can hopefully transfer to other relationships in their lives.

I try to remind myself that everyone is doing the best they can with the tools they have to work with or within the context within which they exist.

I believe that life is hard. Therefore, I try to offer comfort and support to all my clients. I am direct with my clients with my insights, but I also infuse humor (when appropriate). Laughter is important to me. I believe in laughing often. My personal hardships and experiences allow me to respectfully make light of even the worst situations.

I use self-disclosure when I feel that it could be helpful to the person or to the relationship. I try to show my humanness when I can.

I know my place. If I am meeting with a person who is 25 years old, I ask myself, what in this hour of this person’s life can I realistically expect to accomplish?

If I incorrectly approach a topic with a client, or if my speculations are erroneous, I own my mistakes. I apologize. I admit when I don’t know. This is directly related to the value that I place on relationships. If I acknowledge my mistakes, it models healthy behavior. If I admit when I don’t know, I show that I am ok with not knowing, that I don’t expect myself to know everything, etc. I apologize when I am aware that I may have overstepped a boundary or when I have said something other what is true.

Finally, I seek to inspire. I seek to challenge people’s beliefs about themselves and to consider there may be more possibilities. I want people to find peace and to experience the joys of living. Despite my sometimes-cynical personal nature, professionally, I am an idealist of sorts. I have a (Doctor Who 🙂 )poster in my office which reads: “I am and always will be the optimist. The hoper of far-flung hopes and dreamer of improbable dreams.”

Rogers, C. (1951). Client-centered therapy: Its current practice, implications and theory. London: Constable.

I hope you are well. 🙂