I believe that the meaning of life for all living things is to grow, thrive and when it is time, to die. All living things naturally engage in this process. For people, this process can become slowed or derailed by issues such as non-integrated trauma, messages received about self (especially during formative years), and an array of possible physiological issues (caused by genetic or environmental influences). This belief is aligned with the humanistic traditions of psychotherapy which suggest that given the appropriate environment, people will have a tendency toward self-actualization. Carl Rogers stated: “The organism has one basic tendency and striving – to actualize, maintain, and enhance the experiencing organism” (Rogers, 1951, p. 487). My beliefs inform my approach to my work with clients.
My general approach to working with clients is to build a therapeutic alliance with them while collaboratively determining what I may be able to help them with. To achieve this, I work to understand the client’s worldview and attempt to develop a sense for what it feels like to be them (or at least understand their experience within the current context of their lives). Through listening and asking questions I work to find factors which are contributing to the individual’s challenges. These factors generally include beliefs about themselves, others, or situations; dysfunctional behaviors they are engaged in (e.g., chronic drug use) or sometimes a general lack of direction (e.g., purpose in life). Very often, the predominant issue in their life is that they have no one with whom they can have honest conversations.
I believe that much can be gained through honest discourse. Through honest conversations with others, people can learn to develop meaningful relationships. I frequently act as a surrogate for others to practice talking about their inner thoughts, feelings, and desires which they can hopefully transfer to other relationships in their lives.
I try to remind myself that everyone is doing the best they can with the tools they have to work with or within the context within which they exist.
I believe that life is hard. Therefore, I try to offer comfort and support to all my clients. I am direct with my clients with my insights, but I also infuse humor (when appropriate). Laughter is important to me. I believe in laughing often. My personal hardships and experiences allow me to respectfully make light of even the worst situations.
I use self-disclosure when I feel that it could be helpful to the person or to the relationship. I try to show my humanness when I can.
I know my place. If I am meeting with a person who is 25 years old, I ask myself, what in this hour of this person’s life can I realistically expect to accomplish?
If I incorrectly approach a topic with a client, or if my speculations are erroneous, I own my mistakes. I apologize. I admit when I don’t know. This is directly related to the value that I place on relationships. If I acknowledge my mistakes, it models healthy behavior. If I admit when I don’t know, I show that I am ok with not knowing, that I don’t expect myself to know everything, etc. I apologize when I am aware that I may have overstepped a boundary or when I have said something other what is true.
Finally, I seek to inspire. I seek to challenge people’s beliefs about themselves and to consider there may be more possibilities. I want people to find peace and to experience the joys of living. Despite my sometimes-cynical personal nature, professionally, I am an idealist of sorts. I have a (Doctor Who 🙂 )poster in my office which reads: “I am and always will be the optimist. The hoper of far-flung hopes and dreamer of improbable dreams.”
Rogers, C. (1951). Client-centered therapy: Its current practice, implications and theory. London: Constable.
I hope you are well. 🙂
JS
Therapist Speaks 